"That Guy Brian" Episode 2 "Interview"
Hello peeps! Here's the second episode's script in its entirety! Again, similar to the first episode this will be split up into numerous episodes. Let me know what you all think of me releasing the scripts to you all! Do you enjoy it? Do you loathe it entirely? Send me an email to let me know! (Email can be found in the "About" section).
Episode 2 “Interview”
*Whispering* Brian, Brian, wake up.
Brian: *Slowly opening his eyes sees Will floating over him* *Screams* AH What the hell dude!
Will: What? It’s time to wake up.
Brian: You have got to stop with the Ghostbusters’ shit Will, it is creeping me out to no end.
Will: Will you stop bitching so much, like it is just constant complaining with you isn’t it?
Brian: Oh oh, I’m complaining??? I didn’t realize asking for personal space was “complaining.”
Will: Alright, alright, come on, get up, it’s time to start the day ya little shit. *Floats out of the room*
Brian: *Groaning* Time to start the day my ass, it’s only 9am. Although he probably can’t even tell time cause he’s dead.
Will: Uh actually I can tell time dipshit *floats through wall* I got you up so fucking early cause you have a job interview today! You’re welcome.
Brian: I HAVE A WHAT?! How the fuck do I have a job interview, I haven’t even applied?!
Will: Like I said, you’re welcome. I pulled some strings at the Death Agency and they hooked you up with an interview at Gianno’s Pizzeria *says with Italian accent while transforming into an Italian chef*
Brian: A pizza place…couldn’t you have just gotten me a job at the agency, or at least had them just get me the job?
Will: First of all, YOU can’t get a job at the agency. You aren’t dead. It’s not called the DEATH Agency for shits and giggles man, you gotta be dead or a supernatural being to work there. Second, they couldn’t just give you the job because that’s out of their power.
Brian: Wait, wait, wait, wait, this Death Agency, full of supernatural and dead people can “pull strings” to get me an interview but it’s too hard to just get me a job? What the fuck do you people even do?
Will: *Looks at camera* That’s for another episode
Brian: Another what? Will: Nothing. Also, if they just gave you a job, you wouldn’t be learning anything. This is supposed to be about YOU getting YOUR life together. You wouldn’t be doing that if they did it all for you.
Brian: Yeah I guess you’re right. So when is this interview? Will: 20 minutes ago.
Brian: *panicking* WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WILL?!?!
(Camera fades to black and picks up with Will and Brian outside of the house)
Brian: Now how are we supposed to get there Will? It’ll take 20 minutes to reach downtown and I’m already late. I might as well just not even go at this point.
Will: OH quit your bitching. *Pop noise and they’re both gone* (They reappear with the pop noise in the downtown area in front of the place that Brian is interviewing at)
Brian: *vomits on the ground* What the fuck just happened???
Will: We teleported dumbass what’s it look like just happened?
Brian: Why do I feel like something just punched me in the gut? Will: Well cause I did, I told you to stop bitching and you screamed the entireeeeee warp time so I punched you to keep you quiet.
Brian: How, how did you do that? Will: With my imagination.
Brian: Really?
Will: No you dumbass with my warp watch.
(Commercial comes on) Voice: Warp watch! Get yours today!
Brian: What’s a warp watch? (Commercial again)
Voice: Are you tired of walking?
Man on TV: Boy am I!
Voice: Then have WE GOT THE THING FOR YOU!
*warp watch appears on wrist*
Man: Woah man what the fuck is this? Voice: It’s your very own WARP WATCH!!
Man: I don’t know about this thing dude, it keeps beeping.
Voice: That’s because YOU’RE ABOUT TO WARP!!
Man: Wait I”m wha.. (disappears with a pop)
Voice: WARP WATCH!!!! Get yours today!!!
(Back to Will and Brian staring at ground) Will: Oh we’re back, no dumbass I did it with my warp watch!
Brian: Yeah you just said that…
Will: Boy I swear *raises hand*
Brian: So this is the pizzeria? Will: Yep, all you gotta do is walk inside and tell them anything other than the truth about yourself.
Brian: What’s that supposed to mean?
Will: *stares condescendingly* Really?
Brian: Oh fuck off. *Starts to storm in but stops* I can’t do it Will.
Will: Yes you can Brian, you got this *extends hand for fist bump* Brian: Thanks Will. *bumps fist and turns away*
Will: *notices a black mist floating off of Brian* What the fuck is that?
Brian: *coughs a bit and the black mist pours out more rapidly* God I gotta quit smoking, I’m gonna cough up a fucking lung.
Will: *Sees smoke rushing towards center of the city and collecting* This…can’t be good…